A little pity party.

Sunday as we were sitting in church Dale whispered to me Fridays Williams Birthday do you want to go down to Wyoming?

My eyes welled up and the flood gates started.

For those of you who do not know William is buried in Burns Wyoming just 3 hours a way.

I dread this week every year, the week before Williams birthday its always been hard on me.

I cry a lot I am snappy, sad, on edge and have panic attacks.

I hate that I get this way but I know its just the way things are I really try hard to catch my elf before I bite anyone's head off.

Tonight I was really snappy at my kids I bit a few of there heads off and then finally went to my room for a time out I really hate when I yell at my kids for any reason but I hate when I do it because I am emotional.

I was in my room for a few moments when Dale came up to tell me to come out of time out he realized why I was so snappy and that made me feel better somehow and he gave me my space for a few more moments.

I have said this many times and I will say it many more he is most amazing man I know.

I am great full for the time we had with William and I am very grateful to be his mother and to know that we will be together again and this promise keeps me sane and gives me peace.

I also know its ok to be sad and its ok to cry and its ok to have pity party's when I need them.

Ok pity party's over.