Monday, October 28, 2013

Surgery day and my thoughts.

October 21st 6:30 am right before surgery. I was nervous but ready to be done. I rember saying a silent prayer asking to guide the DR. So that he will be confident and sure of every thing he was doing. I also prayed that I would not get sick from to anastesia. Shortly after my prayer I was given sleppy stuff in my meds.

4 hours later I woke up from surgery sore and with an awful head ache. The recovery staff asked me if I wanted coffee for the head ache I said no thank you then they asked me if I wanted coke I said no it will make me burp. I kept saying I just want to go back to sleep please let me go back to sleep. They kept telling me no then I asked for my phone so I could call  Dale to come get me. They laughed and said they would get him. When Dale came back I was so glad to see him he kept talking to me and I kept tring to fall asleep. The nurse came back and asked me how I felt I said like I just had my throat sliced open. She laughed I on the other hand did not think it was funny. My doctor came to talk to me a short while later he told me every thing looked fine and he was sure there was no cancer. I was happy but skeptical .  After doing all the things that need to be done to go home They let me get dressed and go home. 

I took this picture of me when I got home. I cried when I first saw my neck.
It looked awful with a drain comming out the side filling up with blood. I then slept the rest of the day. 

This is all I reall remember of the day after the surgery. I rember talking to my friend Tara when she came over with dinner but I don't rember what we talked about. 

This is me day 3 wearing a lovely scarf some one sent me along with cute little birdi earrings. There was no note in the package I felt an overwellming filling of love for who ever sent it.  Threw this whole proses I have been blessed by kindness and love from those who know me. 

This is kinda gross my frankenstine tube I took this picture right before the doctor took it out. It was not as painful as I thought it would be but still painful.

Here is my Stony dog he was never far from me but did not let me hold him until day 4. 

Day 5 I took this picture of my daddy asleep while watching over me. I was so blessed to have my parents come and take care of me and take my kids to school every day. 

These are some of the beautiful flowers that my friends brought over. I was truly overwhelmed by the love of others I was so touched by how many friends and family members were praying for me. I got so many text, emails phone calls and face book messages and cards.  Most of all through this whole ordeal I felt my Heavenly Fathers love for me. In my deepest moments of sorrow I felt his loveing arms around me I new he new how I was feeling and I new I could freely spill my heart to him. In one of my many talks with him I begged him to not let me have cancer. I felt selfish asking this but Knowing I was allergic to the iodine in the treatment and knowing this would make it harder to treat me I went ahead and asked. 
 I new I would probly hear the results by Friday. I was secretly hopping not to hear anything until my fallow up on Wednesday. It was my exsperance if I heard to soon it was bad news. Friday at 3.30 I said to Dale we'll the Dr. did not call this must be good news. I kid you not 5 mins later he called. I braced Myself for the worse but instead I heard the sweetest words You don't have cancer. I was do relived I could not speak. I honestly was shocked but happy.  I will still have to be tested and monitored for the rest of my life but I can live with that. After telling my family the good news I went up to my room and thanked my Heaveny Father in that moment I new my pleas had been answered. I felt the overwelming  love that my Father in Heaven has for me . I know that with faith in The Lord Jesus Christ we can concor any of life's challenges. I feel very strongly to add that sometimes I know when we ask The Lord  to heal us or our children or family members or friends the answer sometimes has to be no. Not because he loves us any less but that it's just part of his eternal plan havering exspranced a no in the past when asking for our son William to be heald and the answer was No it was hard but he never left my side. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I never felt alone or abandoned only loved  I am a better person wife and mother because of my exsperance. It is my testimony and promis that if we are obedient to the teaching if Christ is in our lives will be blessed. 

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