October 3rd was biopsy day. As I stated in an earlier post I found a lump on my neck and after getting a sonogram the DR. thought I should get a biopsy.
I am not going to lie I was a little scared knowing the were going to stick a needle in my neck to get cells out.
I talked to a few people who had it done they reassured me it would be OK.
It also seemed like everyone either had a lump on there thyroid and had it tested , or new someone who had it lump on there thyroid and everything was fine.
I do however know someone who had my same symptoms and had thyroid cancer,
I went to the Dr. optimistic and worry free.
I had a great group of DR. and Tech that made me laugh . Who new they needed so many people in the room to collect a few cells from my neck.
As the tech was mesuering my tumor I asked him how big it is he started telling me numbers then said you have a cadburry egg in your neck
, I asked if it was the candy covered eggs or the chocolate one with a yummy center.
He said the Chocolate one.
He then told me my tumor was really big but not the biggest he has ever seen.
The radiologist came in numbed my neck and the started to take samples. He kept taking about how vascular my tumor was he took 3 swipes and stopped. I was suppose to have 5 swipes but because of how much bleeding and how difficult it was to get the swipes he stopped to see if he got enough cells.
The pathologist said he had enough cells for the test.
I also heard them talking about 4 more tumors.
When they were done and I was getting ready to leave I asked if I heard him right ? Do I really have 4 more tumors? He said yes they are small and we should worry about them just yet that they were small .
When I was done I went back to the waiting room where Dale was making weekend plans for Breckenridge.
I told him I should hear some news the 24 hours at the earliest but I was not holding my breath It would probably be more like Monday or Tuesday.
Dale and I went to lunch that's when he took this lovely picture of me.
We talked about the fun impromptu weekend we would have with the kids.
I was in good spirits all day I felt calm and excited for the week end.
Later that night I was in a bit of pain I had some swelling at the biopsy site.
I used my lovely hot cold compress to ease the swelling and pain.
I remeber saying my prayers before bed that night great full for everything the Lord has given me I also asked If the news was going to be bad let me know before General Conference A biyearly Conference when our church leaders speak to us and give us cancel and feel our spiritual cups...
I woke up Friday morning happy and full of excitement for the weekend.
I went shopping and when I got home I noticed my phone was dead. When I turned it back on I had a weird over cheerful message from my DR. who always speaks in a monotone and says no more than he has to say.
He said Mrs. I have your Biopsy results I will call you back later on I hope you are having a good day.
This should have been my first clue something was wrong.
He called me back an hour later.
He was awfully cheery again then he drooped the bomb your test came back not normal.
I tried to get out of him what not normal means but he would not crack. He then said I would be getting a phone call to set up an appointment with the ENT surgeon to remove the tumor.
The ENT Nurse called and said the Surgeon juggled his scheduled so I could be seen at 2:30 on Monday.
I then asked the nurse to tell me what a not normal Biopsy means she said I could spout out all this medical jumble nonsense but your biopsy showed you had bad and abnormal cells . I flat out asked do I have cancer. She said she could not tell me that I would have to see the results of the biopsy after the tumor was removed..
So after talking to many friends who has had cancer or children that had cancer they all confirmed that They had the same thing happen they were told there Biopsy came back not normal or concerning. My friends all said the DR . and nurses never used the word cancer unless they slipped until after the surgery confirmed it.
I do remember this clearly when my best friends daughter was diagnosed with a Wells tumor all the DR. from the hospital we were at were calling it cancer but when we went to children s in Oakland They were hesitated to say she had cancer even those the admitted her to the cancer wing.
So here I am waiting again for answers Knowing that I have cancer even if the Doctors and nurses wont say it out loud to me.
Sometimes I really think DR. think we are dumb I know its all a liability thing but it is irritating on my end.
I also know they are human and kind I have felt kindness by many DR. in the past.
When we found out about our youngest son William and the possibility that he had Edwards syndrome along with his heart defects they were all so loving and kind.
I have felt the same way in the past few weeks how I did when William was diagnosed I felt scared but new he had Edwards and that he would die.
I know I am not going to die but I know I have cancer. I know I will be OK and that this will just be another opportunity for me and my family to grow closer to our Heavenly Father.
I will keep you posted with what is going on I see the surgeon at 2:30 I have prayed that I will have clearer answers and a plan of action.