Holding on to Faith

I took this picture last Wednesday after getting a phone call from my Dr. saying we need to talk.

My heart was heavy I was upset and a little scared.

But now I have some peace.

So hear is my story about 2 months a go Dale pointed out a bump on my neck me thinking it was no big deal said it's a mole. Dale proceed to feel it and said no there is a bump.

I felt around and felt the lump I made a mental note to make a doctors appointment but kept putting it off. School started and I got more busy every once in a while I would think about the lump I noticed it was getting a little bigger but kept putting off calling the doctor.

A little over a week a go I saw an add for the DR.'s a day time talk show the commercial kept talking about the hidden dangers on your neck. 

I felt a strong feeling I should watch the show so I did and got a little nervous . They were talking about thyroid cancer and how to check your self for it.

Knowing I had a lump right around where my thyroid is I took the swallow test.

The Dr.'s on tv they showed you where your thyroid was located then had you take a  take a drink of water in your mouth hold it and then look in the mirror to see if you have a lump when you swallowed. This was the first time I really could see how big the lump was. I was a little worried and called and got an appointment to see the doctor the next day.

When I saw the Dr. he was concerned at how big the lump was and asked a bunch of questions. He then thought I probably had a hyper thyroid with a toxic nodual.  He was also concerned about my blood pressure and  the fact I am having tachycardia ( a high heart rate) issue I keep having episodes of 110 to 155 beats a minute. The average heart is 60 to 100 beats a minute. All this was explained by having a toxic thyroid. 

I had some blood work done made a sonogram appointment for my thyroid and went on my merry way thinking I had my answers.

Last Wednesday I took my good friend Sandy to the sonogram appointment I hate sonograms I have post  traumatic stress from all the ones I had from William so I now when I think of sonogram I think bad news.

Every thing went smooth I had a funny tech I was not whisked a way to a private room to hear bad new. 

I  got a message a few hours later from my Dr. saying we need to talk today. 

I was not too worried I just thought he wanted to discuss my test results from the blood work.

Dale called from work after the DR. called their trying to get a hold of me.

He scared me because he talked to the doctors at work and they said it was not good that they were calling me the day of the sonogram because if nothing was wrong they would wait 10 days to get all the results.

Ok not going to lie this freaked me out. 

My Doctor called back a few hours later and said all my blood work came back and my thyroid was working normally but the radiologist saw somethings that concerned him from the sonogram. He then told me I had a tumor that looked suspicious and that I  need a biopsy.(Yikes)

I called to make a biopsy appointment and found out the pathologist at the base is out of town until the 3rd of October I will have to wait until then.

At first I was mad that I had to wait so long for answers, I am telling you I am a ball of stress not knowing if I have cancer or not. My panic attacks have been out of control and I cant sleep.

Knowing there is nothing I can do I have given it to the Lord. 

I am trying not to worry and I am having Faith that the Lord knows what is best for me.

I have come to the conclusion that I am probably fine and this is just a small trial in learning to be patient .

I have felt so much love and the prayers of my family and friends these last couple of days. 

I know this will be a short period of my life and no matter what the biopsy shows I will be OK.

I know this journey will only make me stronger.

I am truly blessed to have faith in the Lord and to know he will lift my burdens.

I also have the best Family in the world that loves and supports me.(My kids are the best ever)

PS. My husband has been so loving and kind and really has put me at ease I really am the luckiest girl in the world. 

A little craftiness

Hello my name is Jennifer and I am a wreath addict.

I love wreaths and I love making them.

This is my latest wreath it was supper easy and quick to put together.

I love all the fun burlap prints that are out their right now polka dots are my favorite so I was excited when I found this polka dot burlap.

I loved this flower so I added it along with a few sprays of beads and lace.

I think they ad just the right touch of fun.

I guess it's time to make some new wreaths I alread have the stuff I just need the time now:)

First day of schools 2013-2014 part one and Two

We are into the second week of 2013-2014 school year.

Back to school is always hard for me I love having my kids home and hate when summer is over and we have to have every weekday scheduled and busy.

Having high schooler a middle schooler and an elementary kid means lots of activity.

I feel like the day's rush by and then it's the weekend and then hear we go again busy busy busy.

I also hate that my kids are getting older and leaving the nest time is just going by way to fast.

I know this is a concept that is hard for some moms to understand. especially when they are in the little kid stage of life.

I lot of my friends cant wait until kids are back in school so they can have a break.

Other moms like the structure school provides for their children.

I totally get it I was there once but just wait until your youngest is going to their first day of kinder garden then you will understand.

Now that my kids are older it's way more fun having them home.

Now that I had my little rant it's picture time!

All I can say was Garrett was a total punk .

He did not want his picture taken.

I swear he is reverting back to being 4 since he turned 14 and I have to be honest I did not like him much as a 4 year old he was hard moody and drove me nuts but I loved him dearly then and  I love him dearly now.

So Garrett is a Freshmen in high school this year he is very excited about being in high school.

He is defiantly my kid he wanted all brand names of clothing and went fro the preppy look this year he also loves shoes and has a lot of the.

He is lucky that I am so good at getting great deals on the brands and things he likes.

I have a feeling this is going to be a great but difficult year for him.

I say difficult because I think he is struggling with being in the same school as his siblings. 

He love's them but I think he is a little embarrassed by them. 

He is very popular and cool his siblings are e nerdy and weird  in their own way but well liked they don't mind being their own person and different.

Garrett on the other hand minds in public but dose not mind at home.

So hopefully he can find an even balance.

Benny my happy go lucky class clown boy that all the girls love is going into 4th grade. Where did time go? (sigh)

As hard as it is for me to send him off each year he loves it!

Ben is smart and very well liked.

His friends we very excited to see him again.

I have a feeling this is going to be another great year for Mr. Ben.

Ben and Garrett went to school on Monday because all elementary school aged kids started that day and 9th and 6th graders had school. 

My other 3 had the day off.

Robbie Mylissa and Maddie had their first day the next day and I almost forgot to take a picture of them.

So I took one quick shot of the three of them as we were leaving out the door.

Madeline is in the 7th grade this year she is excited and happy she loves middle school.

Madeline has grown taller and needed all new school clothes which she was very excited about.

I loved all her clothes too and wish I was outfitted like her in middle school. 

She is growing into such a beautiful young lady.

Robbie is a in the 11th grade that blows my mind a bit.

He is such an amazing young man he is smart and thoughtful and nerdy in a cool way.

We love him so much this is honestly the first year I have not felt sick about him going to high school.

I have always worried that he would be picked on because he is different he has some awkward social skills from having Aspburgers . Kids can be mean when they realize someone is different. Robbie has been able to use being different as a strength. 

Mylissa has a semester left in high school.

She struggles so much in school it dose not come easy for her but I have to giver props for sticking it out and not quieting

She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. 

We love her very much and are grateful she is a part of our family.

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